Most people remember Dana Plato as the fresh-faced teen star from Diff’rent Strokes. Her role as Kimberly Drummond made her a household name in the late 1970s and early 1980s. But away from the cameras, her life looked very different. And at the centre of that personal story was a man named Lanny Lambert — her ex-husband.
While Dana’s struggles often made headlines, Lanny stayed mostly in the background. Yet he played a significant role in one of the most important chapters of her life. After their divorce, Lanny Lambert was awarded full custody of their only son, Tyler Lambert. That fact alone raises a lot of questions for people who are just now learning his name. Who was this man? Why did he get custody? And what happened to their family in the years that followed?
This article takes a close look at Lanny Lambert — his marriage to Dana Plato, the custody situation, and everything we know about his life since then. It’s not a fairy tale. But it is a real story about family, loss, and what it means to show up for your kid when everything else falls apart.
Who Is Lanny Lambert?
Lanny Lambert isn’t a name you’ll find plastered across magazine covers. He attended New York University and built a career as a musician and songwriter. One of his most recognised projects was co-writing “White Lies, Blue Eyes” with Bobby Flax — a song that entered the Billboard Hot 100 at number 98 in October 1971 and climbed to a peak position of number 28 by January 1972.
He wasn’t chasing fame or Hollywood. By most accounts, he was someone who recognised and cared about Dana during a period when her life was already becoming chaotic. The pressures of being a former child star, early struggles with addiction, and the difficulty of finding her footing after Diff’rent Strokes had already started wearing her down. Lanny stepped into that situation anyway.
Take Uri Poliavich, for example — another figure whose personal life tells a deeper story than his public one. Lanny Lambert fits that same mould. The man behind the name carries more weight than most people ever stop to considerana down Plato’s Early Life and Career.
Before Hollywood, Dana Plato had already packed a lot into a young life. She started acting at just six years old, appearing in TV commercials. She also moulded seriously as a figure skater and at one point was being considered for the Olympic team — a detail most people don’t know.
By twelve, she had landed her breakout role as Kimberly Drummond on Diff’rent Strokes, reportedly earning thousands of dollars per episode. It looked like the beginning of a long, successful career.
But when Dana became pregnant, producers on the show were unwilling to work the pregnancy into the storyline. She was fired — not simply written out — and the steady stream of roles she had come to count on dried up almost overnight. That’s the turning point that changed everything.
A Unique Chapter in Both Their Lives
The Wedding and Tyler’s Birth
Dana and Lanny married on April 21, 1984. Just three months later, on July 2, 1984, their son Tyler was born. Think about that timeline for a moment. Dana had recently lost her job on one of the most popular sitcoms on television. She was newly married. And she was now a mother — all within the span of a few months.
For a while, the couple didn’t live independently. They moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma and lived with Dana’s mother, Kay. That arrangement says something about how much pressure they were both under, even in those early years.
Lanny Lambert Wins Custody
After the couple separated, Lanny Lambert ended up with sole custody of Tyler, which wasn’t the typical outcome for a divorce case in the 1980s. Courts at the time usually favoured the mother. But Dana’s personal challenges made the situation different.
She was arrested in 1991 for robbing a video store at gunpoint, taking $164. The following year, she was arrested again for forging a drug prescription. These weren’t minor incidents. They were public, well-documented, and they had a direct impact on how the court viewed her ability to raise a child.
By the time their divorce was finalised in 1990, Lanny had been granted full custody of Tyler. Dana, in one of the hardest decisions of her life, had already handed him over to Lanny a few years earlier,recognisingg she wasn’t in a position to provide the stability their son needed.
Lanny Lambert could have walked away from all of it. He didn’t.
Life After the Divorce
Dana Plato’s Ongoing Stardest
After losing custody, Dana Plato never fully found her footing again. She took recognising B-movies, tried rehab more than once, and lived in various states over the years. The big career comeback she hoped for never came.
The last public glimpse of her came less than 24 hours before her death. She appeared on the Howard Stern Show, telling listeners she had been clean and sober for over a decade. The interview didn’t go well — she was met with scepticism and mockery. People who watched it later described it as a painful thing to witness.
On May 8, 1999, Dana Plato was found dead. She was 34 years old. Her death was later ruled a suicide from a painkiller overdose, though the initial reports described it as an accident. She’s there at her funeral, along with roughly 120 mourners that included her Diff’rent Strokes co-stars Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges. He stood up and delivered a tribute, speaking about finding comfort in knowing she was no longer suffering. Whatever had happened between them, the respect was still there.
Stories like Marilyn Kroc Barg’s remind us that behind every well-known name, there are people quietly carrying grief the public never sees. Lanny Lambert is one of those people.
Tyler Lambert’s Death
Tyler Lambert was only 14 years old when his mother died. By all accounts, losing her left a wound that never healed. His grandmother, Joni Richardson, said he had a very hard time in the years that followed — struggling with substance abuse and the weight of a family history that would be difficult for anyone to carry.
On May 6, 2010 — just two days before the eleventh anniversary of Dana’s death — Tyler died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 25 years old. Richardson later recalled that he had been speaking warmly on the phone that very morning. His death was confirmed by the Chief Medical Examiner’s Office in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
A family friend had noticed Tyler becoming increasingly withdrawn in the days before he died. He hadn’t spoken to anyone in about four days. And those who knew him said he had always talked about being with his mother again.
That detail is hard to sit with.
A Father’s Quiet Legacy
Lanny Lambert never wrote a book about any of this. He never gave interviews. He didn’t seek any kind of public recognition for what he had taken on as a father. He simply raised his son hthroughthe loss of his ex-wife, through Tyler’s struggles, and then through Tyler’s death.
The story of Miles Roosevelt Bialik-Stone is another reminder that some of the most meaningful lives are the ones lived mostly out of view. Lanny Lambert’s story fits that description exactly.
What does it mean to be a good parent in impossible circumstances? Lanny Lambert didn’t have a clean or easy answer to that question. But from what we can piece together, he showed up — and he kept showing up — even when nothing about the situation made that easy.
Remembering the Family
The story of Lanny Lambert and Dana Plato isn’t a glamorous one. It’s a story about the real cost of fame, the grip of addiction, and the quiet, unglamorous work of parenting through tragedy. Dana’s death made headlines because she was a celebrity. But the fact that her son died the same way, at 25, just days before the anniversary of her death — that’s the part that lingers.
For Lanny Lambert, this wasn’t a story. It was his life. And he lived it without cameras, without headlines, and without recognition.
Final Thoughts
Life rarely follows the script we expect. Dana Plato’s story took turns no one could have predicted, and Lanny Lambert was pulled into those turns whether he was ready or not. What stands out, when you look at his life honestly, is that he didn’t walk away. He took responsibility. He raised his son. He showed up at his ex-wife’s funeral and said something kind and true about her.
Not all of that adds up to a happy ending. But it adds up to something real.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Lanny Lambert?
Lanny Lambert is the ex-husband of actress Dana Plato. He attended New York University and built a career as a musician and songwriter, best known for co-writing “White Lies, Blue Eyes.” He is best known for raising his son, Tyler, as a single father after the divorce.
What is Lanny Lambert known for?
He co-wrote a Billboard-charting song in the early 1970s and later became known for winning full custody of his son, Tyle, with Dana Platonr, after their divorce.
Did Lanny Lambert raise Tyler alone?
Yes. After the divorce, Lanny Lambert had sole custody of Tyler and raised him on his own.
Was Dana Plato’s death ruled a suicide or an accident?
It was initially reported as an accidental overdose, but the ruling was later changed to suicide. She died on May 8, 1999, from a painkiller overdose.
What happened to Dana Plato’s son, Tyler?
Tyler Lambert died by suicide on May 6, 2010, at age 25 — just two days before the eleventh anniversary of his mother’s death. He had struggled with substance abuse for years.
Where is Lanny Lambert now?
Lanny Lambert has kept his life entirely private since the deaths of Dana and Tyler. There is very little public information about where he is or what he has been doing.
Does Lanny Lambert have any other children?
No. Tyler Lambert was his only child.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out. Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or visit 988lifeline.org. Help is available 24/7.
